3 months tenley.

tenley girl, you still have us on the edge of our seats over here! something's always changing-never the same old boring routine with you! one day the swing is a big hit and the next...not so much. sometimes you'll take your paci...and, well, for the most part you just chew on it a bit and spit it out (i think you'd prefer your hand, pointer finger or thumb, but we're trying to avoid it). what seems to work one day most likely won't mean biscuits tomorrow. we like to refer to you as our "high needs child" :).

there are a few things that we are very certain of though:

-you DESPISE the car seat
-you CANNOT STAND being alone (hence, all the meals spent holding you at the dinner table while trying to scarf down chicken nuggets, chug a Dr. Pepper, and attempting to control rylan's graceful eating habits all with one hand)
-you are sensitive
-you are emotional
-you are not afraid to voice your opinion (trust me we've heard it a million times and yes, loud and clear)
-you like to sleep with a blanket over your face (we're keeping an eye on you with this one)
-you are a night owl like your momma-you always seem to want to talk the most when we're getting you ready for bed
-you're a daddy's girl (sure, you like me too, but i see the way your eyes light up when you look at him, and i wouldn't have it any other way :)

you're still not a fan of tummy time, but have become a bit more interested in touching your toys. rylan has been helping me try to get you to play!

we've gotten a few good laughs out of you (daddy gets the best ones!), but you are a tough one to crack!

just recently you learned how to blow raspberries and i must say it's adorable.

you are eating every 3 hours, go to bed at 9 pm and usually give us about 7-8 hours before you need to eat again. daddy puts you to bed at night and you go to sleep pretty easily.

we love watching you learn and grow and i can't get enough of your sweet face :)

looking forward to another month with you.

love you forever,

momma

2 years rylan.

is this real life?

i cannot believe this day has come,

the day that i can no longer call you my baby.

the time to no longer count in months, but in years.

2 years old, my precious son,

my first born.

i catch tiny glimpses of the little man you are becoming every day-in the way your neck has slimmed up right along with your cheeks and your belly, your little boy hair that sticks up in all sorts of unimaginable directions after bedtime, how your "uh-huh's" and no's have suddenly taken on meaning, the way you always want to do everything yourself, and in the expression on your face as you concentrate on something new.

i still remember when i laid my eyes on you for the first time. it was like all my dreams coming true at once, all the love in the world ever felt all at once to where my heart could just burst and you were mine. my son.

sharing these past two years with you has been the best and i feel like i've known you a lifetime. i am the luckiest to get to share my days with you.

i praise the Lord for blessing me with your tiny sweet soul and i pray for many more years of life together, as well as an eternity.

and forgive me, but i may just continue to call you my baby anyway because, although time changes everything, i'll always remember the day i locked eyes with you, the sweetest baby boy in the whole wide world and that baby will always be mine.

i'm a fool for you.

love you forever,

momma

6 years, my love.

seriously? it's been 6 years since the day we got married. i remember it like it was yesterday.

the chill in the air, the ice on the ground, how you ran to me during our "first look", the shake in my voice while saying our vows, the moment we turned and looked at each other with our "i can't believe it-we're married!" faces, the crimson rose petals, and the feeling as we drove away from the reception as Mr. and Mrs. still gives me butterflies!

the past 6 years have been undefyingly beautiful and overwhelmingly abundant in all things. the spiritual growth that has occurred, the day-in-day-out sacrifice you've given, the tears, the laughs and the joy, oh and the love, the love runneth over.

i love raising babies with you, our dance offs, how you can fix anything, watching you and rylan wrestle, road-tripping with you, the way you roll tortillas, how you put tenley to bed at night, sharing "snackies" with you and how you always sing the wrong words to songs. i will always be jealous of your swaddling skills and the way you can back a truck up into the tiniest of spaces, but most of all i love figuring out how to do this life in a way that glories Him with you.

these past few years have only solidified "our verse" Philippians 1:6,
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect in until the day of Christ Jesus".

to say that it has all been easy would be a tall tale, but having you by my side on this journey has been the delight of my life.

i pray that tenley marries a man as good as you and that rylan walks tall in your footsteps.

i love you Mr. Baker,

-the Mrs.

23 months rylan.

the twos are really hitting hard these days and it's been a bit rougher on you now that i have to split my time between two kiddos. i'm still fighting to get good quality time with you though, don't worry. some days are easier than others and some days it's really a struggle. i hate that i end up having to occupy you with the ipad or tv while i take care of tenley sometimes, but that's just the reality of life now with two littles. oh, but some days things just jive, you know, and we are back on our time, just me and you. and everything is right in the world.

you are becoming quite the little man with your first real haircut and losing your poochy baby belly (which i'm not too fond of by the way). i was buttoning up a collared shirt on you the other day and all i could think about was you getting dressed for your wedding day. buttoning up your shirt, putting on your tie and jacket, making sure everything fits just right. how am i ever going to let you go? this momma's heart can't take much more of this growing up thing.

some of our favorite sayings of yours right now: "tenwey" aka tenley, "mick time" aka milk time, "ssssnack??"-shakes head yes, "sit me"-sit with me, "wub you"-love you, "see you, bye", "come on!", "vee"-wee,  and listening to you say the alphabet is the absolute best thing on the planet.

almost every time we drop you off at church or the gym lately someone comments on how smart you are or how many words you know. we think you're the bee's knees kid and i think you know it.

love you forever,

momma

2 months tenley.

oh tenley girl, can i just say things are starting to look up with you! now, don't get me wrong, you are still by no means an easy baby, but we're coming right along you and me.

we've finally figured out that your tummy causes most of your fussiness and by most i mean 80% of the time, the other 20% can be chalked up to the fact that you never want to be alone. yep. you're a snuggler. the other day we were all bundled up together and your little hand had the tightest grip on my shirt as if you were pleading me to stay with you forever. so i stayed there and studied your perfect little pouty lip and button nose and traced my finger along your chubby cheeks that seem to take up the majority of your tiny face. yeah, there's nothing better than this.

you're a pretty fidgety little sleeper and the sound machine is your best friend. i'm sure you will be wearing ear plugs one day just like mommy ;). we've been putting you to bed around 9 pm lately and you usually give us at least 6 hours of sleep. we're hoping you will move to 8 hour stretches soon-mommy and daddy need more sleep baby girl!

you've started talking to us more this month and have been smiling like crazy! it brings your daddy and i so much joy and we make fools of ourselves trying to get you to show us your dimples! they're the sweetest dimples i've ever seen too by the way.

you have taught me so much in your short two months. things that i hate to see in myself, things that i didn't even know were there, things that God is now working on in me and for that i am eternally grateful. you are my biggest sanctifier little one. you have drawn me closer to the Lord and i'm falling more in love with you every day.

love you forever,

momma

my little quarterback and football babe.

i love these two to pieces! we dressed them up for a little get together that we had with our new church small group. talk about chaos! 20 or so kiddos running amuck! 

we had a great time though and ry enjoyed wandering around the HUGE backyard we were in. seriously, that backyard is every kid's dream! i even overheard a couple of littles pretending to "save the land!!". haha. why do we ever lose that imagination? 

anywho, i just about died over rylan's shoulder pads and eye black-isn't he the cutest, toughest little quarterback you ever did see?? and sister's little leggings! these kids are too much. 

and just like that my favorite month goes out with a bang. i hate to say it, but bye-bye october.

we will miss you around here.

one month tenley.

so i hate to say this, but i guess my epidural not working should have been a sign of what was to come-you are one tough cookie smookie little lady! a mystery baby! one day you despise being swaddled and the next it's your heavenly place. one day you're spitting out your paci in disgust and the next you're madder than a wet hen without it. to say you're a bit of a drama queen is the superlative of all understatements, but hey you're a baby and what not so live it up and YOLO and YOABO (you're only a baby once) and all that stuff right? i mean when else is it ok to scream at the top of your lungs for 30 minutes straight? i say never, but who's asking? here's your shot.

you seem to have some super strong baby powers or something because you've been lifting your head since the day you were born and you're already pretty much rolling over. one of your finest moments was letting me sleep six hours straight for my birthday! way to go! now can we start making this a habit? mommy and daddy are tired ;).

one of rylan's favorite things right now is for us to play chase ("get-choo" he says) so the other day you and i did just that! i don't want you to grow up too fast, but i cannot wait to watch you two running around together!

i'm still trying to figure out this TWO baby thing, but we're alive and well. here's to another month!

love you little lady,

momma

revision.

oh my has the Lord been working on this ugly heart of mine lately!

it's crazy how He strategically uses marriage and parenthood to shape us, to draw to the surface all the impurities in our lives. well, let me tell you, baby girl is already being used by God in a mighty way to shape this momma!

unlike rylan, miss tenley seems to be quite the challenge for mommy and daddy (sorry tenley!) and with these challenges the "pot" has been stirred.

these stirrings have led to convictions: oh how simple it is to love when things are easy and how effortless it is to be happy on the good days.

ouch.

i'm reading in Ecclesiastes and today i read this:

"In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider-God has made the one as well as the other"

i'm praying for lots of things these days and i'm glad to be reminded of how much i need Him again. as a momma, my prayers are largely for my kiddos, but i've realized that all the things i'm praying for them start with me. it's almost like God was saying, "you want them to be patient, YOU gotta be patient. you want them to have self control, YOU gotta have self control".

that being said and with all the self reflection going on over here, i've been given a new "vision" for this space of mine. things aren't always easy as a mom, life is tough and i just want to be real. i just want to share my life and encourage. yes, this place is mostly a love spot for my babies and for all of our memories, but my hope is also that somehow i could build up mothers along the way.

i'm praying for all you mothers (and "not-yet" mothers) out there to find contentment in the hard days as well as the easy ones.

the perfect day & banana oatmeal breakfast muffins

oh it's just one of those days where you wake up and the birds are chirping and the stars are aligning!

it has been the perfect day. breakfast, sweeping the back and front porch, watering the flowers and playing in the sprinklers with my little man. joy. to. my. soul.

...until baby girl decided to spew her lunch all over me, buuuut let's just pretend that never happened.

since i no longer have the dreaded "morning"/all day sickness, i've been itching to get back in the kitchen more. it feels good to finally enjoy food (and making it) again!

...so i made these lovelies this morning...

annnnd they were fantastic!

of course i found them on Pinterest. all good things come from Pinterest don't they? ;)

// Ingredients //

2.5 cups of oats

1 cup of plain low fat greek yogurt

2 eggs

3/4 cup of sugar

1.5 tsp of baking powder

1/2 tsp of baking soda

2 ripe bananas

*optional: chocolate chips

// Directions //

preheat oven to 400 degrees.

spray muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray or line with foil/silicone liners. *very important*

place all of the ingredients in a blender and blend until oats are smooth.

divide batter among the liners.

bake 15-20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

ENJOY!!

p.s. chocolate chips are NOT optional for toddler boys ;)

Rylan: 21 months

i have to say it even though i'm sure i've said it with every month that goes by, but you at this age has got to be my piece of the pie. you know, all the good stuff mixed up together into one big ol' perfectly messy slice of heaven with a dollop of ice cream. can't beat it. (and why on earth am i talking about pie?? pie? i don't even really like pie. oh, but find the right one-oh then it's on ;)

first i'd like to say congratulations on being such a fabulous big brother-minus the soccer ball to the head incident-we're still working on it, but you're doing great, just great. right now you kind of just do your own thing, but you do like to share your stickers and legos with baby sister and it's precious. i can't wait to watch you two as you grow and start playing together. i'm certain my heart will burst :)

we haven't gotten to go to "mrs. baker's class" much with the new addition to the family, but i'd have to say it's one of your favorite things to do. we put on your "pack pack" and head to the office aka 'classroom' and i introduce myself and help you find a seat. we color, practice numbers and letters, hammer, play with magnets, read, sing, look at old pictures of mommy and daddy, and sort shapes. you've been learning letters so well and you love pointing them out to us-a couple of your favorites are 'W' and 'H'. i think we may need to work a bit more on your numbers though since you like to say "2, 4, 8, 4" before you jump instead of "1, 2, 3, jump". i almost don't want to work with you more on it though because 1. it's obviously adorable and 2. duh, "2, 4, 8, 4" sounds waaaay better ;).

one of my favorite things is being able to hold your hand as we walk, just swinging our arms, the perfect height together.  another one is how you hold your hand out for me to hold it while your riding in your wagon, too much, you are just too much kid.

oh and music. you LOVE music. annnnd singing and dancing. when we have our phones out you always ask for "mewsic". the other night you were in bed and we could hear you singing, "roll over, roll over" from the song 'ten in the bed'. we're certain that we need to catch your singing on video for when you become a big star one day ;)

you love being outside so it's a little bittersweet as the colder weather is coming in this year-but fall you are my favorite! you love bubbles and chalk. riding in your wagon, running, and yelling. last night we were outside playing pretty late and it somehow became a night i want to remember forever. just simple things. i could watch over and over again the way that you chased the bubbles, i still see the one that landed on your cheek. i could listen to your laughter and sweet voice echoing through the shadows on repeat and to kiss your face as we looked up at the moon and the stars. there you are, a memory, my precious little boy spinning in circles with so much joy, just as free as God planned. stay this way forever baby.

love always,
momma

a birth story: "she's got rolls!"

that's probably the first thing i heard.

"she's got rolls!"

followed shortly by, "look at all that hair!"

i remember thinking-is that really her?

i guess i expected you to look a little more like your brother.

but there you were with the blackest of black hair, rolls for days and the biggest eyes i've ever seen.

........

it was a monday, my last visit before i was to be induced that thursday. turns out i was dilated to 5 cm and 90% effaced. my nurse practitioner claimed that if i was 6-7 cm they would have me go straight to the hospital. however, after asking how far we live from the hospital (40 minutes) she left to chat with the doctor. the next thing i know my doctor is telling me it's my call if i want to have the baby today or wait until thursday. 

after freaking out for a few, we finally decided to head to the hospital. i took rylan to a friend's house while nick finished packing our bags. we made it to the hospital around 12:45-1:00 pm.

and just like last time, i was rushed in and hooked up (that darn blood pressure cuff!).

(last pic as the three musketeers)

around 1:50 pm my water was broke and there was meconium, poor baby girl-good choice on going to the hospital today says my doctor :)

2:30 pm i got my epidural. 

at 4:00 pm i was dilated to 7 cm.

at 4:35 pm i was 10 cm.

my doctor had somewhere to be that evening and had actually already said her goodbyes to us (which i was bummed about since she delivered rylan) because she wasn't expecting me to have the baby so fast. but for a second time we proved them wrong! i got my doctor in the middle of the shift change!

i pushed for about 15-20 minutes and let me tell you, those last few minutes were the most excruciating minutes of my life. apparently my epidural didn't work too well. i kept telling the nurses that i could still feel my legs and feet and they reassured me that it was fine. i assure you that i was not. my family could hear me screaming down the hall. when rylan was born i didn't feel a thing or hardly make a peep. i'm listening to my instincts next time. oy...

good thing she came fast! my doctor said her head didn't even have time to shape in the canal-it was perfectly round and my tailbone will be in recovery for weeks for it!

at 5:09 pm on September 16th we welcomed Tenley Lane Baker into the world. 7 lbs 7 oz and 19 in. 

black hair, rolls, double chin, and the biggest, brightest, bluest eyes in all of oklahoma.

i still can't say for sure who you look like or who you act like for that matter. i've been calling you 'weird girl'...i know, i know i'm a terrible parent! but you are so different from your brother-you hate your arms swaddled, you weren't a fan of the paci for awhile, you're a restless sleeper and your cry is drama-filled! i have a strange feeling we are in for it with you! your daddy says you are like me though so i guess that makes two weird girls :)

can't wait to get to know you more Tenley Lane.

she's here!

Welcome to the world miss Tenley!

9/16/13

5:09 pm

7lbs 7oz

19in

We are all doing great!

birth story coming soon!

your biggest fan.

yesterday i cried like a baby.

all because of this video.

i was imagining all the simple sweet moments i've had with just rylan and i. little kisses, laughs and hugs. times spent cuddled up real close while i twirl your hair, watching you dance in your pj's and holding your hand as you discover the world. there's been nothing more beautiful than getting to be front row and center at your show. i am your biggest fan. always and forever. don't you forget it my little man.

we only have about 2 weeks left as just the two (or three with daddy :) of us. i keep wondering if this is our last night together before our little family is forever changed. don't get me wrong-i'm so happy to welcome our little lady. i'm just trying to savor this moment in time, taste, see, smell, soak it up for all it's worth-'cause i know it's worth a fortune.

so here's to ry & i and our time as solely us. may you stay this sweet and curious with wonder in your eyes and never forget our season spent growing and learning together in grace and love as a mother and a son. you are my wild thing and i am your safe place.

love always,
-your biggest fan-

momma