rylan and the threenager.

i'm calling today the "day of the poops".

by 11 am i had already changed three horrendous poopy tenley diapers in the span of three hours (or less?), so yes, that equals out to about one poop per hour (that's a lot of poopin'!).

then an hour or so later, after i had just given the kids a bath (lunch is messy y'all!), i tried to squeeze in a quick potty break for myself. i finished washing my hands and *CLINK* i hear the toilet lid go up in the kids' bathroom (this is NOT a good sign). i literally sprint to the other bathroom and there rylan stands. poop smeared all over his butt, holding his dirty poopy undies over the toilet trying to dump the poop from them into it's proper place. i'm mortified. i feel my brain starting to explode. and i'm certain there was steam coming from my ears. he dropped the undies in the toilet and all i can think to do is squeeze the water out of them and trash em'. i then proceed to deal with the poop on the hiney and straight to the tub for bath numero dos he went.

***

the days are long and hard, but i love this age, really i do. it may kill me, but i love it.

it hit me today, as birthday number three is approaching, that in the same amount of time that has already passed from this next birthday forward you will be SIX! that's just impossible. i'm declaring a worldwide age stoppage right this instance! as long as we can get our poops in the correct spot that is ;).

our rylan is becoming mr. independent. "i do it." he says. and i just sit back and watch. mistakes are made along the way, but i'm right there for every moment. to teach him, correct him and guide him. and oh, when he gets things right, what a bittersweet day.

he's saying some of the best things these days too. that's probably my favorite thing right now. like the other day during dinner we were going around the table asking each other questions like "what was your favorite thing we did today?" and he asks daddy, "what was the perfect thing you saw?". isn't that just the best question ever?! i was so proud. i pray that you grow into a man who asks questions and digs deep into the souls of the people you love. oh, and one night while getting you dressed we had a long conversation about how God made us, "He made your feet, and legs and arms, and your beautiful eyes" and at the very end of it all you exclaim, "gigi has three eyes too!". seriously, the best things are coming from this mouth of yours.

and let us not forget, cory. yes, cory. your imaginary friend who we are now using to get you to finish your cheeseburgers. we were sitting at braum's the other night and there was an extra chair and you asked me who was sitting there and i said no one. you were delighted to tell me that cory would be joining us in the open seat. you then claimed him to be your "best buddy" so i dug in a bit more...

me: "what color is cory's hair?"

you: "red."

me: "what color are his eyes?"

you: "green."

daddy: "is he tall or short?"

you: "tall."

daddy: "taller than me?"

you: "yeah."

the description was pure genius.

what an imagination.

but then there's the threenager. i don't know why no one ever told me about the threenager, but it's true and we aren't even technically there yet. there's the bossiness and the stubbornness too. along with a healthy dose of entitlement. and i'm pretty sure you've told everyone in the house to "obey" you at some point or another. and the fits. yeah. perfectly done kid. to a "T". i honestly wouldn't even have the energy to put on one of your little fits much less two, or three, or however many you're pulling off these days. i'm holding out hope that the teenage years won't hold a candle to this. i guess we'll see.

there are lots of sweet times too though. like when you ask me to sing you one more song or to lay with you when i'm putting you to bed. and how during your first movie in the theater you kept saying, "mommy wook at dis!". and when you get scared of something (like going on the elevator) you cling to my leg. makes my heart want to burst.

so although these days may be long and hard, they are some of the best because of you.

two and a half.

you're like a little ray of sunshine everywhere you go just spreading light, joy, happiness. i want to be just like you. except for the tantrums, you know, not publicly acceptable for adults and all.

you love to talk and you're pretty good at it i might add. one guy told us that you should be doing the NBC nightly news! i'd be sure to tune in to see that! if i'm ever being too quiet you say, "mommy talk!". bossy too. i can barely keep up ;).

some favorite sayings:

-"mommy whadyou fhank?" aka mommy whatcha think?
-"belax" aka relax
-"i see you hiney!"
-"whatchu doin'?"

you've been obsessed with Siri on our iphones lately. you like to ask what's she's doing. i tell you she's taking a nap ;). one night when you were praying you even thanked Jesus for her! i tried to hold the laughs in, but i lost it! lots of character in you kid.

you have become one of my best friends over the past two and a half years. you are simply one of the most amazing souls on earth and i'm blessed to call you my son. you've changed me, challenged me, made me a better person, and drawn me to my Savior like never before. two and a half years of being abundantly blessed by your life and yet a lifetime with you would never be enough. so here's to more nights praying for your little heart to one day be His and for an eternity together with Him.

p.s. you're a great big brother. minus all the pushing, you know, and the hitting. you're just trying to teach her to stick up for herself, right?

love you forever baby,

momma

29 months.

you're getting so old! not really, but yes! really!

you continue to amaze us every day. like that time you told daddy to sit with us at the table. you know, you used the term correctly and everything! we're just wow-ing over here.

your vocabulary and sponge brain are really the best. you're just soaking everything up.

some favorite sayings:

"where IS penguin?" *emphasis on is

"that's what i'm talkin' bout!"

"it burns goin' down!"

"good morning momma."

the other day i was talking to you about my upcoming trip to africa and i was getting all sad and mushy telling you how much i'd miss you and you came up and gave me a big hug, tiny pats on the back included, and said, "don't worry momma. he'll getcha out.". sweetest. moment. ever. really.

you're becoming such a big boy and i can hardly see the baby at all anymore. the chubby cheeks and feet, the innocence, where have they gone?

my my my, this is going by too fast.

love you forever my little man,

momma

28 months.

so yeah, lots of things going on with you over the past month or so. still in the process of potty training you (it's going much better these days-cheers!) and you seem to be getting the hang of your big boy bed aka mattress on the floor. we are in the process of finding the perfect new bed :).

you were the ring bearer in your aunt pay-pay's wedding this month and you did a great job! i was so proud! i will never forget watching you walk down the aisle to me and realizing as you got closer that you were "shooting me" with the stick in your hand. seriously. day. made. no, life made.

but really you are the most ornery little boy on the planet. and i can't help but fall for you. guess i'm a bit drawn to the "bad boy" in you ;).

you are so contrary. sometimes to get you to eat something we tell you not to eat it and what do you know-you do! reverse psychology for the win! did you know we are fantastic parents?

oh yeah, and growing up. yeah, i really hate that part. you've been doing a lot of it lately. at the wedding you wanted to dance by yourself, you want to sit on the "big" potty without momma steadying you, trying to feed you something on a spoon is pure torture, and you've been kind of a daddy's boy lately.

i'm trying to accept all of these things because i know it's reality.

sweet little boys grow up,

but you will always be mine,

no matter how big.

love you forever,

momma

p.s. favorite sayings: "hairs lookin' good" and "lookin' good momma". what a charmer you are ;).

27 months.

so, potty training.

will it be the death of me?

i can see it now,

dearly beloved mother

1985-2014

death by potty training

this has been by far the hardest part of parenting you. we've tried potty training with you two other times and this time we decided to dive right in head first. mickey undies. that's right. we heard from the "experts", whoever they may be, that it's best to just move straight to underwear and that the accidents are the best way to learn. who are they kidding?! the first day you peed every mickey undie in the house! we've been at it for over a month now and you have good days and bad, but we're sticking it out.

oh and #2's! you like to refer to them as "snake". oh. my. gosh. typing that out just kills me! your wife is going to have some good stuff on you one day :).

some things that seem to work for us: telling you not to pee pee on mickey, "look daddy wears undies too", "if you have to go potty-STOP-and go right away"-thanks for that daniel tiger ;), and skittles-kid definitely has an opinion about these kinds of things and chocolate chips are not an acceptable alternative. that and staying calm. daddy has done a great job at this and i think he's been the key here.

oh and get this, you earned your big boy bed by stripping down to your diaper, removing it and peeing in your crib! so congratulations to you!

some favorite sayings:

"pwweeease."

"oops, my bad."

"oh ma'am." (instead of oh man)

"no way!"

"get snake out."

"yes, i did."

"oh. my. gosh."

"hi friends."

"hi _____. what yn doin'?"

"sowwy momma. yunidntyudonthavetosay sowwy." aka you didn't do anything, you don't have to say sorry.

p.s. where are all the people who say they potty trained their kids in 3 days??? let me at em'!! or better yet come on over-he's all yours! good luck! ;)

even during these "trying twos" you are still one of my favorite people.

i love you so much and can't wait to see you on the "other side" -dry mickey undies and all :)

love you forever,

momma

you are my wild.

when i found out i was having a baby boy in 2011 i was in a bit of a state of shock and disbelief tinged with a hint (or perhaps a lot of hints) of uncertainty. i grew up with only one sister and although i spent the majority of my childhood as a "tomboy" i was scared.

the life and ways of "boy" were uncharted territories for me...

fast forward a couple of years and i cannot imagine my life without him. there's just something about us that's unlike any other thing.

i love all of the things that make him, him, and all of the things that make him, boy. i'm fascinated by him and the way he can transform almost anything into a play gun...straws, rulers, boxes of raisins. the way he prefers to knock things over instead of building things up. how he throws everything and wants to always be outside. his energy. how he has already perfected the sound of shooting or something exploding (i always wondered how they do it, i guess they are just born with it...). his innate sense to fight or protect. how he pretends to be brave when chasing down the "bad guys".

sometimes i can almost feel his need to escape, for adventure, to be free, beating beneath his chest. like an untamed horse, this boy is so perfectly wild and wonderful.

i may not ever fully understand the life and ways of "boy", but it is something i get to marvel at now daily.

what a privilege to be his momma.

i long for Christ to make me as bold and as wild and as free as he is.

he is a beautiful soul.

26 months.

i guess there's always a curveball thrown in when you've got kid(s). you've been trying to change up our schedule around here lately. which i'm, of course, not a fan of. you used to sleep until 8:30-9:00am and have been trying to wake up around 8:00am. i know, i know, that's normal for most people, but i'm NOT a morning person. i need my sleep people!

your nap is getting shorter as well...

all signs of you coming out of babyhood.

can't you just stay there a teeny bit longer?

oh and the fits too. can they just go away?

disciplining is so hard. i'm trying to be consistent, but some days i feel like you are in trouble all day long and it's not my favorite.

we've been discussing during your punishments that your heart is "ugly" and that's why you act the way you do sometimes and that Jesus can make your heart beautiful. i know you don't really understand yet, but i'm trying to get to the deeper issue as simply as possible. it is my hope that this will help lead you to Christ. that you will see your deep need for Him. and hopefully sooner rather than later.

your vocabulary is astonishing, well, to me anyway.

you love curious george and "racing".

and, if we would let you, you would probably go up and down the slide at chick-fil-a all day long.

oh and you doing "crunches". funniest thing on the planet.

i can't believe how fast you're growing up.

i'm going to miss you. right here and right now. and these days.

love you forever,

momma

25 months.

rylan, you are the definition of BUSY! always on the move, you've got places to go and people to see! between you and me though, i secretly like that about you ;). don't get me wrong, i adore the .25 second hugs you give, but it's just you to be on the go and i like you. so there's that.

you are getting into everything lately. i was brushing my teeth the other day and it got too quiet. i knew something was up. i found you in the BACKYARD!! did you read that?! BACKYARD!! you sneaky boy! you moved a chair from the dinning room table over to the door, unlocked it and went outside to play in your pjs! when i went out to get you, you said, "come on momma!". i love it.

it's one of the sweetest, saddest things when you get in trouble! you start crying and saying, "i sowwy, lubs you momma" and "hold you". i pick you up and tell you how much i love you even when you get in trouble.

some favorite sayings:

"yes sir."
"yes sir momma."
"careful."
"bwess you tenwey."
"don't fall like dum-dumpty."
"Czechoslovakia."
"chicken nugget."
"bad guys."
(if we're singing) "no no no no! stop it!"
"no, dats not a circle."
"puhpuhpuh-playdough."
"go funder (aka Thunder)!"
"go OU!"
"turn it off."
"charge it."
"shhh tenwey."

you still love music and singing. a couple of your favorite songs are "happy birthday" and "twinkle, twinkle".

one of our "things" right now is to have a little talk when you wake up from your nap. just you and me. i always ask if you slept good and what you dreamed about. i love asking you what some of your favorite things are too. i cannot wait for you to be able to really tell me. i want to know everything. i want to know all about you.

love you forever,

momma

2 years rylan.

is this real life?

i cannot believe this day has come,

the day that i can no longer call you my baby.

the time to no longer count in months, but in years.

2 years old, my precious son,

my first born.

i catch tiny glimpses of the little man you are becoming every day-in the way your neck has slimmed up right along with your cheeks and your belly, your little boy hair that sticks up in all sorts of unimaginable directions after bedtime, how your "uh-huh's" and no's have suddenly taken on meaning, the way you always want to do everything yourself, and in the expression on your face as you concentrate on something new.

i still remember when i laid my eyes on you for the first time. it was like all my dreams coming true at once, all the love in the world ever felt all at once to where my heart could just burst and you were mine. my son.

sharing these past two years with you has been the best and i feel like i've known you a lifetime. i am the luckiest to get to share my days with you.

i praise the Lord for blessing me with your tiny sweet soul and i pray for many more years of life together, as well as an eternity.

and forgive me, but i may just continue to call you my baby anyway because, although time changes everything, i'll always remember the day i locked eyes with you, the sweetest baby boy in the whole wide world and that baby will always be mine.

i'm a fool for you.

love you forever,

momma

23 months rylan.

the twos are really hitting hard these days and it's been a bit rougher on you now that i have to split my time between two kiddos. i'm still fighting to get good quality time with you though, don't worry. some days are easier than others and some days it's really a struggle. i hate that i end up having to occupy you with the ipad or tv while i take care of tenley sometimes, but that's just the reality of life now with two littles. oh, but some days things just jive, you know, and we are back on our time, just me and you. and everything is right in the world.

you are becoming quite the little man with your first real haircut and losing your poochy baby belly (which i'm not too fond of by the way). i was buttoning up a collared shirt on you the other day and all i could think about was you getting dressed for your wedding day. buttoning up your shirt, putting on your tie and jacket, making sure everything fits just right. how am i ever going to let you go? this momma's heart can't take much more of this growing up thing.

some of our favorite sayings of yours right now: "tenwey" aka tenley, "mick time" aka milk time, "ssssnack??"-shakes head yes, "sit me"-sit with me, "wub you"-love you, "see you, bye", "come on!", "vee"-wee,  and listening to you say the alphabet is the absolute best thing on the planet.

almost every time we drop you off at church or the gym lately someone comments on how smart you are or how many words you know. we think you're the bee's knees kid and i think you know it.

love you forever,

momma

Rylan: 21 months

i have to say it even though i'm sure i've said it with every month that goes by, but you at this age has got to be my piece of the pie. you know, all the good stuff mixed up together into one big ol' perfectly messy slice of heaven with a dollop of ice cream. can't beat it. (and why on earth am i talking about pie?? pie? i don't even really like pie. oh, but find the right one-oh then it's on ;)

first i'd like to say congratulations on being such a fabulous big brother-minus the soccer ball to the head incident-we're still working on it, but you're doing great, just great. right now you kind of just do your own thing, but you do like to share your stickers and legos with baby sister and it's precious. i can't wait to watch you two as you grow and start playing together. i'm certain my heart will burst :)

we haven't gotten to go to "mrs. baker's class" much with the new addition to the family, but i'd have to say it's one of your favorite things to do. we put on your "pack pack" and head to the office aka 'classroom' and i introduce myself and help you find a seat. we color, practice numbers and letters, hammer, play with magnets, read, sing, look at old pictures of mommy and daddy, and sort shapes. you've been learning letters so well and you love pointing them out to us-a couple of your favorites are 'W' and 'H'. i think we may need to work a bit more on your numbers though since you like to say "2, 4, 8, 4" before you jump instead of "1, 2, 3, jump". i almost don't want to work with you more on it though because 1. it's obviously adorable and 2. duh, "2, 4, 8, 4" sounds waaaay better ;).

one of my favorite things is being able to hold your hand as we walk, just swinging our arms, the perfect height together.  another one is how you hold your hand out for me to hold it while your riding in your wagon, too much, you are just too much kid.

oh and music. you LOVE music. annnnd singing and dancing. when we have our phones out you always ask for "mewsic". the other night you were in bed and we could hear you singing, "roll over, roll over" from the song 'ten in the bed'. we're certain that we need to catch your singing on video for when you become a big star one day ;)

you love being outside so it's a little bittersweet as the colder weather is coming in this year-but fall you are my favorite! you love bubbles and chalk. riding in your wagon, running, and yelling. last night we were outside playing pretty late and it somehow became a night i want to remember forever. just simple things. i could watch over and over again the way that you chased the bubbles, i still see the one that landed on your cheek. i could listen to your laughter and sweet voice echoing through the shadows on repeat and to kiss your face as we looked up at the moon and the stars. there you are, a memory, my precious little boy spinning in circles with so much joy, just as free as God planned. stay this way forever baby.

love always,
momma

your biggest fan.

yesterday i cried like a baby.

all because of this video.

i was imagining all the simple sweet moments i've had with just rylan and i. little kisses, laughs and hugs. times spent cuddled up real close while i twirl your hair, watching you dance in your pj's and holding your hand as you discover the world. there's been nothing more beautiful than getting to be front row and center at your show. i am your biggest fan. always and forever. don't you forget it my little man.

we only have about 2 weeks left as just the two (or three with daddy :) of us. i keep wondering if this is our last night together before our little family is forever changed. don't get me wrong-i'm so happy to welcome our little lady. i'm just trying to savor this moment in time, taste, see, smell, soak it up for all it's worth-'cause i know it's worth a fortune.

so here's to ry & i and our time as solely us. may you stay this sweet and curious with wonder in your eyes and never forget our season spent growing and learning together in grace and love as a mother and a son. you are my wild thing and i am your safe place.

love always,
-your biggest fan-

momma

what i'm loving about you, my 18 month old.

*your admiration of the outside world. like screaming mad fit when we make you go inside. red cheeks and all. >>little boy momma swoon. you would stay outside all. day. long. if we'd let you, just touching or "touch-y" as you would say and playing in awe of all the things around you.

*your love for your new best friend "gankie" aka "blankie".

*your little boy soul. your exploring, red-dirt-eating, pine-cone-finding, water-hose-loving little boy soul.  melts my heart.

*how quickly you learn. lately, we've been practicing the alphabet! you repeat the individual letters back to me pretty well! oh sure there are some that you don't really get or that you like to repeat as a hum with your mouth closed ("G"), but mommy and daddy are impressed.

*the games we play during diaper changes and getting dressed. it's more of a love/hate kind of thing, but even when it's annoying i can't help but have a smile on my face. i start out by luring or, in most cases, dragging you to your room where you then book it straight for the curtains-oh the glorious cloak of invisibility! annnnd the game is on! sometimes it turns into a game of "where's rylan?" other times i just wait you out. now, diaper changes are another story. since you've become interested in using the potty, you think it's fun to remove your diaper. oh what a joy it is to walk into a room and find you butt-naked saying "poopy" as i glance over to the diaper lying in the floor with a nice one in it. hey, at least you somewhat know what's going on, right? now we just need to get you to the potty BEFORE you go in your diaper!

*your love of water. bath time. pool time. water hose. washing your hands. you name it. you're in love.

*your independence. it's the cutest thing. you want to do everything on your own now. spoons at dinner time, it's a nice fun mess. coloring. playing outside. getting in your wagon, oh let's not even go there on your love of wagon rides. talk about bringing joy to your soul, those wagon rides do it! even swimming in the pool! you'd think you were invincible!

*"ta" aka flower. every time you see a flower, pointing excitedly, "ta". we extend our corrections, but to no avail. it's a "ta" in your eyes and ears i guess.

*animal sounds. "the cow says MOO, MOO, MOO, MOO. the dog says WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF...and the people they say BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"-ode to our favorite animal sounds song. your favorite animal right now is "cow cow". oh and the face you make when you're barking like a dog, it's just almost too adorable. ^^see above picture.

*your love for helping. bless your little heart. you love helping momma put things away when we get back from the grocery store and getting the laundry out of the dryer. you're too much. i'll be praying for your little servant's heart to continue to grow and mature as you do.

love you forever little man,

momma