the walking dead, walking babies and stuff.

well, it's been awhile since my last post so i thought i'd pipe in for a bit while i'm feeling up to it.

i vividly remember several days during nap time where i thought to myself, "i should write". bless my poor hustling soul! i mean every single time. nothing was prying this ol' body off the couch. i've been tired yo. two up and at it babes will do it to you. oh yeah, first things first though the baby (who's not really a baby anymore *insert crying whining sad face*) girl is finally walking! it only took her 15 months, but i'm not complaining and i honestly don't know how i convinced myself both times that i was ready for them to walk. dead wrong on both occasions.

speaking of dead, we've recently developed a thing for the walking dead, you know, the tv show. i know, i know, we are way behind, but the husband signed us up for a free trial of netflix and it's been non-stop walking dead after the kids are in bed (did that just rhyme?). and we are totally not zombie people. i don't know how they do it. plus, i've trained myself to look away during the gory parts and have only had nightmares once, so there's that.

oh and the little boy is up to all the best things. i know i say it all the time but three has got to be my favorite. plus, we're finally potty trained. so the two's can kiss it on that one.

here's some favorite convos and/or things he's said:

me: "you got pepper on your tooth!"

ry: "cheeeeeeese!"

me: "do i have pepper on my teeth?"

ry: "nooooooo, you got a burger on you teeth!"

/ / /

(wanting me to play with his hair) ry: "can you pet me mom?"

/ / /

me: "ry do you want another baby?"

ry: "yes."

me: "do you want a boy or a girl baby?"

ry: "boy. can we have another boy? can we have another rylan baker?"

/ / /

"hold my hand so we can dance."

/ / /

(to me at bedtime) "i want you to lay here a minute, k?"

/ / /

(ry translating for tenley to us a breakfast) "she said i'm eating get out of my spaceship!"

/ / /

"no! don't shoot me! i'm a doctor!"

/ / /

(tenley crying in the car) "tenley cut it out!"..."tenley cut it out! i don't need that! ten...listen. ten listen to me. i'll get you something if you be good and not cry."

the other day we went and visited a mother's day out program that we are considering for rylan in the fall. my emotions are all over the place about it. i know he will do great with whatever we decide, but i've been there for all of the moments and i don't want to miss a thing (*cue singing*). the reality that he's growing up is hitting me square in the face every day now. i'm finding less and less crumbs under his seat at the table and i'm asking more and more of him-the fetching of the diapers and the clothes and such, and he's specifically told us that he's not a baby, he's a boy, he's just rylan. as we were leaving the  mother's day out program that we were checking out, he says to me, "i want to go to school." my heart just crumbled on the floor.

a couple of days later, we were playing in our "classroom" at home and he says the most precious words a stay at home mommy can hear, "mom, i'm so happy you be home with me."

and all was right in the world.

the last time. numero dos.

it's been exactly one week now since i nursed tenley for the last time. i wish i had gotten around to writing this post a little sooner to catch all the emotions of it, but it's a whirlwind over here these days and i sometimes barely have time to do..well..anything. so yeah, just getting around to it.

if someone would've looked into the future when you were around, oh, 1-2 months old and told me that i'd be sitting here today crying about being done nursing you i would've laughed! we struggled, boy, did we struggle to get things right. and i cried and cried. and got angry and impatient. i wanted to give up so many times. but we pressed on. and i had the best encourager. i don't know how we would've made it without your daddy. he was always there to support me even in the wee hours of the morning. even when he had to go to work the next morning. your daddy is just the best.

so we sat there in that same place where we struggled all those weeks. and i marveled at how easy it had become. how it all came together. how we'd grown. together and individually. i ran my fingers through your brown hair that i always swore was starting to fill in blonde. i studied your face and stroked your cheeks. i praised God for bringing us to this place.

you, my dear, are beautifully wild. your soul is so complicated and free. i know you are not mine to keep. it was a pleasure to be able to be so close for a time to something so wild.

the in-betweens.

sometimes, when i'm least expecting it, i get caught up in the most beautiful moments. there's nothing really special about them. it's just a regular night, you know, the in-betweens. there's no special celebration or birthday or highlight of the day and heck, it was probably most likely a long and rather tedious non-memorable day, but for some reason time just seems to slow down almost like i'm looking in on our life from someone else's perspective, like someone holding a snow globe of my little family looking in on our little home and something becomes special in these tiny fleeting moments as i step away from myself.

just the other night before the kids' bedtime we had a mini pow wow in tenley's bedroom. we went into her tiny dark room and turned on the christmas lights that drape one of the walls and just talked about random things and watched the kids play. we closed out our mini pow wow session as we always do in traditional baker fashion with music and dancing with the babies. nothing seemingly special, oh, but it was!

i really love when these moments happen. when i feel sort of out of my body and i slow down and take it all in. i can really see tenley's fuzzy baby hair and how it's starting to fill in in the back and the way she looks at her brother. i can really hear rylan's voice and feel how tightly he hugs me. and then when i really look at the man in front of me and i'm overwhelmed at how much he loves me and our babies and this life we have made together. these are the moments that i live for. the in-betweens. the regular days. with these regular people. who are far from regular.

i want to type, but my allergies are destroying me...

so photo dump it is!

hope you all are staying allergy free and clear! cheers to spring! right?

7/52

"a portrait, once a week for 2014"

i think we are in for it with this girl. she is a mess!

the 52 project

6/52

"a portrait, once a week for 2014"

a few weeks ago we visited some friends in kansas. they have a little boy about a year older than rylan. our little guy fell in love with his buddy's nerf gun and mad scientist goggles!

the 52 project

winner, winner!!

soooooo sorry i forgot to announce our winner yesterday! it's been a looooong week, including, but not limited to: toddler poop, toddler throw up, crying, tantrums and spit up to the face! the mommyhood years really are the best though, no?

congratulations to our lucky winner Tracie Trump!

hit me up in the "contact" section and i'll connect you with your winnings!

thanks so much for participating folks!

4/52

"a portrait, once a week for 2014"

first visit to the science museum! this kid loved it. especially all the "robots" aka space satellites and the dinosaurs!

the 52 project.

3/52

"a portrait, once a week for 2014"

check out those sweet dimples! this 4 month old is pretty much a full fledged roller now!

the 52 project!

2/52

"a portrait, once a week for 2014"

it finally warmed up and we were able to take this little guy outside! the kid was in heaven.
the 52 project!

1/52

"a portrait, once a week for 2014"

ok, so i'm just a bit behind, but i'm doing it! here's week 1: my sweet tenley girl.

join the 52 project! it's not too late!

i washed my brand new iphone in the laundry machine. oh, and happy new year!

there's nothing worse than washing $200 straight down the drain.

ok, i can think of a few things.

but seriously, did i really have to send 2013 out with this kind of a BANG?!

i hope this isn't a sign for 2014!

or maybe i do...

i'm not going to lie, the phone can be a bit of a distraction for me. there's always something going on, an app to check, email, messages, pictures, articles to read, #hashtags, and it's basically impossible to keep up which i'm pretty sure God didn't intend for us to anyway.

i've been told that God gives you enough hours in the day to get the things done that HE intends-so no more distractions or excuses-I'm hoping to use my time in 2014 in a more God-honoring manner (not that all of those other things were in themselves bad, but the overuse or prioritization of it that's the key here). I'm taking the washing of my iphone in the laundry machine as a sign to focus more on the "real" around me.

FOCUS 2014!

i guess that's my "word" for the year?

my little quarterback and football babe.

i love these two to pieces! we dressed them up for a little get together that we had with our new church small group. talk about chaos! 20 or so kiddos running amuck! 

we had a great time though and ry enjoyed wandering around the HUGE backyard we were in. seriously, that backyard is every kid's dream! i even overheard a couple of littles pretending to "save the land!!". haha. why do we ever lose that imagination? 

anywho, i just about died over rylan's shoulder pads and eye black-isn't he the cutest, toughest little quarterback you ever did see?? and sister's little leggings! these kids are too much. 

and just like that my favorite month goes out with a bang. i hate to say it, but bye-bye october.

we will miss you around here.

the perfect day & banana oatmeal breakfast muffins

oh it's just one of those days where you wake up and the birds are chirping and the stars are aligning!

it has been the perfect day. breakfast, sweeping the back and front porch, watering the flowers and playing in the sprinklers with my little man. joy. to. my. soul.

...until baby girl decided to spew her lunch all over me, buuuut let's just pretend that never happened.

since i no longer have the dreaded "morning"/all day sickness, i've been itching to get back in the kitchen more. it feels good to finally enjoy food (and making it) again!

...so i made these lovelies this morning...

annnnd they were fantastic!

of course i found them on Pinterest. all good things come from Pinterest don't they? ;)

// Ingredients //

2.5 cups of oats

1 cup of plain low fat greek yogurt

2 eggs

3/4 cup of sugar

1.5 tsp of baking powder

1/2 tsp of baking soda

2 ripe bananas

*optional: chocolate chips

// Directions //

preheat oven to 400 degrees.

spray muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray or line with foil/silicone liners. *very important*

place all of the ingredients in a blender and blend until oats are smooth.

divide batter among the liners.

bake 15-20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

ENJOY!!

p.s. chocolate chips are NOT optional for toddler boys ;)

Rylan: 21 months

i have to say it even though i'm sure i've said it with every month that goes by, but you at this age has got to be my piece of the pie. you know, all the good stuff mixed up together into one big ol' perfectly messy slice of heaven with a dollop of ice cream. can't beat it. (and why on earth am i talking about pie?? pie? i don't even really like pie. oh, but find the right one-oh then it's on ;)

first i'd like to say congratulations on being such a fabulous big brother-minus the soccer ball to the head incident-we're still working on it, but you're doing great, just great. right now you kind of just do your own thing, but you do like to share your stickers and legos with baby sister and it's precious. i can't wait to watch you two as you grow and start playing together. i'm certain my heart will burst :)

we haven't gotten to go to "mrs. baker's class" much with the new addition to the family, but i'd have to say it's one of your favorite things to do. we put on your "pack pack" and head to the office aka 'classroom' and i introduce myself and help you find a seat. we color, practice numbers and letters, hammer, play with magnets, read, sing, look at old pictures of mommy and daddy, and sort shapes. you've been learning letters so well and you love pointing them out to us-a couple of your favorites are 'W' and 'H'. i think we may need to work a bit more on your numbers though since you like to say "2, 4, 8, 4" before you jump instead of "1, 2, 3, jump". i almost don't want to work with you more on it though because 1. it's obviously adorable and 2. duh, "2, 4, 8, 4" sounds waaaay better ;).

one of my favorite things is being able to hold your hand as we walk, just swinging our arms, the perfect height together.  another one is how you hold your hand out for me to hold it while your riding in your wagon, too much, you are just too much kid.

oh and music. you LOVE music. annnnd singing and dancing. when we have our phones out you always ask for "mewsic". the other night you were in bed and we could hear you singing, "roll over, roll over" from the song 'ten in the bed'. we're certain that we need to catch your singing on video for when you become a big star one day ;)

you love being outside so it's a little bittersweet as the colder weather is coming in this year-but fall you are my favorite! you love bubbles and chalk. riding in your wagon, running, and yelling. last night we were outside playing pretty late and it somehow became a night i want to remember forever. just simple things. i could watch over and over again the way that you chased the bubbles, i still see the one that landed on your cheek. i could listen to your laughter and sweet voice echoing through the shadows on repeat and to kiss your face as we looked up at the moon and the stars. there you are, a memory, my precious little boy spinning in circles with so much joy, just as free as God planned. stay this way forever baby.

love always,
momma

she's here!

Welcome to the world miss Tenley!

9/16/13

5:09 pm

7lbs 7oz

19in

We are all doing great!

birth story coming soon!

right around the corner.

so i'm just sitting here, all 37 *almost* weeks of me and i thought i'd share how things are going over here lately.

on a positive note, our house is coming along nicely. just a few more details to work through and on to baby girl's room..

what? what's that? -oh yea, we haven't tackled her room yet. and her name..yea still working on that, but we're getting close! thank God for Labor Day coming up this weekend-we're planning to get lots done, that is if little lady decides to let us ;). going into labor on Labor Day could make for an interesting story though. am i right?

annnnd it might be good if we actually packed our hospital bags too.

hey, at least we've cleaned rylan's old car seat and will be able to take her home with us when she comes ;)

on another positive note, we got a little giddy yesterday after my doctor appointment. i'm already dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced! but who knows what that really means, it could be today or it could be two weeks. so we're just sitting on pins and needles now!

we're ready little lady even if we're not "technically" ready!

from baseballs and blue to pink and bows...

i hate to admit it, but the pink is kind of growing on me.

if you know me then you know i'm not the girliest of girls. in fact, i might have never touched a barbie doll if it weren't for my little sister. she was always the one wearing "princess crowns" and putting on mom's high heels. i, on the other hand, was too busy getting scars from playing with my favorite neighbor boys and now i absolutely cannot wait to pass on my TMNT collection to rylan.

but what can ya' do? God knows i need to learn how to french braid and i've always loved a good pedicure. (can someone please for the love of all womanhood show me how to french braid? those pinterest tutorials are no good!)

anyway, we've been acquiring "the pink" for a couple of months now. we lucked out by having a niece so close to rylan's age-yay for gently used clothes! we got the crib set up last weekend, but are still on the search for a few more items-double stroller...what?? oh yea and ry needs a convertible car seat (perfect timing kid!). let's not even go there on little lady's name...talk about afraid of commitment! phuh! we've still got 9 weeks...right?

oh and what's that??....i can already hear the cries of the "second child syndrome"-"mom, why isn't my baby book finished?", "mom, why are there sooooo many pictures of rylan?"..."mom..". can we just blame daddy on this one for a second? i mean he's the one that's a second child, shouldn't he have the sympathy? this first born momma says, "that's life kid." ;)

so, what about blue bows?

great compromise right? :)

what i'm loving about you, my 18 month old.

*your admiration of the outside world. like screaming mad fit when we make you go inside. red cheeks and all. >>little boy momma swoon. you would stay outside all. day. long. if we'd let you, just touching or "touch-y" as you would say and playing in awe of all the things around you.

*your love for your new best friend "gankie" aka "blankie".

*your little boy soul. your exploring, red-dirt-eating, pine-cone-finding, water-hose-loving little boy soul.  melts my heart.

*how quickly you learn. lately, we've been practicing the alphabet! you repeat the individual letters back to me pretty well! oh sure there are some that you don't really get or that you like to repeat as a hum with your mouth closed ("G"), but mommy and daddy are impressed.

*the games we play during diaper changes and getting dressed. it's more of a love/hate kind of thing, but even when it's annoying i can't help but have a smile on my face. i start out by luring or, in most cases, dragging you to your room where you then book it straight for the curtains-oh the glorious cloak of invisibility! annnnd the game is on! sometimes it turns into a game of "where's rylan?" other times i just wait you out. now, diaper changes are another story. since you've become interested in using the potty, you think it's fun to remove your diaper. oh what a joy it is to walk into a room and find you butt-naked saying "poopy" as i glance over to the diaper lying in the floor with a nice one in it. hey, at least you somewhat know what's going on, right? now we just need to get you to the potty BEFORE you go in your diaper!

*your love of water. bath time. pool time. water hose. washing your hands. you name it. you're in love.

*your independence. it's the cutest thing. you want to do everything on your own now. spoons at dinner time, it's a nice fun mess. coloring. playing outside. getting in your wagon, oh let's not even go there on your love of wagon rides. talk about bringing joy to your soul, those wagon rides do it! even swimming in the pool! you'd think you were invincible!

*"ta" aka flower. every time you see a flower, pointing excitedly, "ta". we extend our corrections, but to no avail. it's a "ta" in your eyes and ears i guess.

*animal sounds. "the cow says MOO, MOO, MOO, MOO. the dog says WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF...and the people they say BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"-ode to our favorite animal sounds song. your favorite animal right now is "cow cow". oh and the face you make when you're barking like a dog, it's just almost too adorable. ^^see above picture.

*your love for helping. bless your little heart. you love helping momma put things away when we get back from the grocery store and getting the laundry out of the dryer. you're too much. i'll be praying for your little servant's heart to continue to grow and mature as you do.

love you forever little man,

momma

some things i learned over the weekend, like how to get crayon off the walls, oh and i have a toddler.

so this weekend was a little busted and filled with things that we have to do rather than what we or i would like to be doing, ie. swimming. i could spend days at the pool just swimming my little heart out, heck, i could swim these next 3 months of pregnancy away in a snap.

but duty calls and so does nesting.

we literally have only about 14 weekends left til our little lady joins us and we're still working on getting the house in order, not to mention the baby's room has turned into the "take to goodwill" storage room.

anywho, i'm supposed to be telling you guys what i learned this weekend right?

first things first, i hate having to have rules about everything with rylan. for instance, we've started coloring. sounds so simple right? wrong. i have to make up 15 rules or more just to sit down to color with him. you know like, "no running around with the crayons!" or "no you don't need to have 50 crayons in your hand at once." and my favorite "don't put that in your mouth, yucky.". blah blah blah fun ruiners is what they are.

well one of my dreaded crayon fears took place for the first time in our brand new house...ry wrote on the wall. granted it wasn't that bad, but this obsessive compulsive type momma had a slight panic attack and started googling how to remove it immediately. and thank heavens for all you "experienced" out there-i found one trick that worked like a charm!

blow dryer + liquid dish soap.

hallelujah!

you just hold the blow dryer on the marks for a few seconds to heat up the wax and it wipes right off with the liquid dish soap!

i feel so smart ;).

onward to the good stuff >>

i think it finally hit me this weekend that rylan is in pretty much full blown toddler mode. maybe it was when he took off across the parking lot and tripped and somehow managed to skid his face from nose to forehead on the pavement or maybe when he just randomly asks at dinner one night, "where's bob bob?" (aka spongebob) or maybe the recent development of him taking his diaper off and asking to go "poo poo" then sitting on his little potty and doing nada over and over again. i'm not sure, but all the signs of toddlerhood are there in all their glory.

and i can't help but feel happy and sad all at once.

it's just amazing how fast rylan has grown and changed these past 17 months. today i was watching him while he was eating his lunch and i just looked into his eyes and couldn't believe those were the same eyes i looked into the day i became a mother.

what a precious soul he is.

happy monday.