one month tenley.

so i hate to say this, but i guess my epidural not working should have been a sign of what was to come-you are one tough cookie smookie little lady! a mystery baby! one day you despise being swaddled and the next it's your heavenly place. one day you're spitting out your paci in disgust and the next you're madder than a wet hen without it. to say you're a bit of a drama queen is the superlative of all understatements, but hey you're a baby and what not so live it up and YOLO and YOABO (you're only a baby once) and all that stuff right? i mean when else is it ok to scream at the top of your lungs for 30 minutes straight? i say never, but who's asking? here's your shot.

you seem to have some super strong baby powers or something because you've been lifting your head since the day you were born and you're already pretty much rolling over. one of your finest moments was letting me sleep six hours straight for my birthday! way to go! now can we start making this a habit? mommy and daddy are tired ;).

one of rylan's favorite things right now is for us to play chase ("get-choo" he says) so the other day you and i did just that! i don't want you to grow up too fast, but i cannot wait to watch you two running around together!

i'm still trying to figure out this TWO baby thing, but we're alive and well. here's to another month!

love you little lady,

momma

revision.

oh my has the Lord been working on this ugly heart of mine lately!

it's crazy how He strategically uses marriage and parenthood to shape us, to draw to the surface all the impurities in our lives. well, let me tell you, baby girl is already being used by God in a mighty way to shape this momma!

unlike rylan, miss tenley seems to be quite the challenge for mommy and daddy (sorry tenley!) and with these challenges the "pot" has been stirred.

these stirrings have led to convictions: oh how simple it is to love when things are easy and how effortless it is to be happy on the good days.

ouch.

i'm reading in Ecclesiastes and today i read this:

"In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider-God has made the one as well as the other"

i'm praying for lots of things these days and i'm glad to be reminded of how much i need Him again. as a momma, my prayers are largely for my kiddos, but i've realized that all the things i'm praying for them start with me. it's almost like God was saying, "you want them to be patient, YOU gotta be patient. you want them to have self control, YOU gotta have self control".

that being said and with all the self reflection going on over here, i've been given a new "vision" for this space of mine. things aren't always easy as a mom, life is tough and i just want to be real. i just want to share my life and encourage. yes, this place is mostly a love spot for my babies and for all of our memories, but my hope is also that somehow i could build up mothers along the way.

i'm praying for all you mothers (and "not-yet" mothers) out there to find contentment in the hard days as well as the easy ones.

the perfect day & banana oatmeal breakfast muffins

oh it's just one of those days where you wake up and the birds are chirping and the stars are aligning!

it has been the perfect day. breakfast, sweeping the back and front porch, watering the flowers and playing in the sprinklers with my little man. joy. to. my. soul.

...until baby girl decided to spew her lunch all over me, buuuut let's just pretend that never happened.

since i no longer have the dreaded "morning"/all day sickness, i've been itching to get back in the kitchen more. it feels good to finally enjoy food (and making it) again!

...so i made these lovelies this morning...

annnnd they were fantastic!

of course i found them on Pinterest. all good things come from Pinterest don't they? ;)

// Ingredients //

2.5 cups of oats

1 cup of plain low fat greek yogurt

2 eggs

3/4 cup of sugar

1.5 tsp of baking powder

1/2 tsp of baking soda

2 ripe bananas

*optional: chocolate chips

// Directions //

preheat oven to 400 degrees.

spray muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray or line with foil/silicone liners. *very important*

place all of the ingredients in a blender and blend until oats are smooth.

divide batter among the liners.

bake 15-20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

ENJOY!!

p.s. chocolate chips are NOT optional for toddler boys ;)

Rylan: 21 months

i have to say it even though i'm sure i've said it with every month that goes by, but you at this age has got to be my piece of the pie. you know, all the good stuff mixed up together into one big ol' perfectly messy slice of heaven with a dollop of ice cream. can't beat it. (and why on earth am i talking about pie?? pie? i don't even really like pie. oh, but find the right one-oh then it's on ;)

first i'd like to say congratulations on being such a fabulous big brother-minus the soccer ball to the head incident-we're still working on it, but you're doing great, just great. right now you kind of just do your own thing, but you do like to share your stickers and legos with baby sister and it's precious. i can't wait to watch you two as you grow and start playing together. i'm certain my heart will burst :)

we haven't gotten to go to "mrs. baker's class" much with the new addition to the family, but i'd have to say it's one of your favorite things to do. we put on your "pack pack" and head to the office aka 'classroom' and i introduce myself and help you find a seat. we color, practice numbers and letters, hammer, play with magnets, read, sing, look at old pictures of mommy and daddy, and sort shapes. you've been learning letters so well and you love pointing them out to us-a couple of your favorites are 'W' and 'H'. i think we may need to work a bit more on your numbers though since you like to say "2, 4, 8, 4" before you jump instead of "1, 2, 3, jump". i almost don't want to work with you more on it though because 1. it's obviously adorable and 2. duh, "2, 4, 8, 4" sounds waaaay better ;).

one of my favorite things is being able to hold your hand as we walk, just swinging our arms, the perfect height together.  another one is how you hold your hand out for me to hold it while your riding in your wagon, too much, you are just too much kid.

oh and music. you LOVE music. annnnd singing and dancing. when we have our phones out you always ask for "mewsic". the other night you were in bed and we could hear you singing, "roll over, roll over" from the song 'ten in the bed'. we're certain that we need to catch your singing on video for when you become a big star one day ;)

you love being outside so it's a little bittersweet as the colder weather is coming in this year-but fall you are my favorite! you love bubbles and chalk. riding in your wagon, running, and yelling. last night we were outside playing pretty late and it somehow became a night i want to remember forever. just simple things. i could watch over and over again the way that you chased the bubbles, i still see the one that landed on your cheek. i could listen to your laughter and sweet voice echoing through the shadows on repeat and to kiss your face as we looked up at the moon and the stars. there you are, a memory, my precious little boy spinning in circles with so much joy, just as free as God planned. stay this way forever baby.

love always,
momma

a birth story: "she's got rolls!"

that's probably the first thing i heard.

"she's got rolls!"

followed shortly by, "look at all that hair!"

i remember thinking-is that really her?

i guess i expected you to look a little more like your brother.

but there you were with the blackest of black hair, rolls for days and the biggest eyes i've ever seen.

........

it was a monday, my last visit before i was to be induced that thursday. turns out i was dilated to 5 cm and 90% effaced. my nurse practitioner claimed that if i was 6-7 cm they would have me go straight to the hospital. however, after asking how far we live from the hospital (40 minutes) she left to chat with the doctor. the next thing i know my doctor is telling me it's my call if i want to have the baby today or wait until thursday. 

after freaking out for a few, we finally decided to head to the hospital. i took rylan to a friend's house while nick finished packing our bags. we made it to the hospital around 12:45-1:00 pm.

and just like last time, i was rushed in and hooked up (that darn blood pressure cuff!).

(last pic as the three musketeers)

around 1:50 pm my water was broke and there was meconium, poor baby girl-good choice on going to the hospital today says my doctor :)

2:30 pm i got my epidural. 

at 4:00 pm i was dilated to 7 cm.

at 4:35 pm i was 10 cm.

my doctor had somewhere to be that evening and had actually already said her goodbyes to us (which i was bummed about since she delivered rylan) because she wasn't expecting me to have the baby so fast. but for a second time we proved them wrong! i got my doctor in the middle of the shift change!

i pushed for about 15-20 minutes and let me tell you, those last few minutes were the most excruciating minutes of my life. apparently my epidural didn't work too well. i kept telling the nurses that i could still feel my legs and feet and they reassured me that it was fine. i assure you that i was not. my family could hear me screaming down the hall. when rylan was born i didn't feel a thing or hardly make a peep. i'm listening to my instincts next time. oy...

good thing she came fast! my doctor said her head didn't even have time to shape in the canal-it was perfectly round and my tailbone will be in recovery for weeks for it!

at 5:09 pm on September 16th we welcomed Tenley Lane Baker into the world. 7 lbs 7 oz and 19 in. 

black hair, rolls, double chin, and the biggest, brightest, bluest eyes in all of oklahoma.

i still can't say for sure who you look like or who you act like for that matter. i've been calling you 'weird girl'...i know, i know i'm a terrible parent! but you are so different from your brother-you hate your arms swaddled, you weren't a fan of the paci for awhile, you're a restless sleeper and your cry is drama-filled! i have a strange feeling we are in for it with you! your daddy says you are like me though so i guess that makes two weird girls :)

can't wait to get to know you more Tenley Lane.