as i sit in the floor with my children while one presses hard up against me and the other asks me yet another question ("mom what are you doing?") i cant help but feel overwhelmed with gratefulness.
this last weekend a young wife and mother from the church nick and i were members of all through college and the first few years of our marriage passed away. she fought a nasty, nasty cancer for a little over a year. she had numerous treatments, scans, surgeries, sleepless nights, excruciating pain and the evil just continued to spread throughout her body.
her spirit just grew sweeter though.
i've heard countless stories of her joyful and selfless heart. how she cared for others although she was in horrendous pain, the peace that people felt as they entered her hospital room, how she shared Jesus' love with everyone around her-doctors, nurses, loved ones and people following her story all around the world.
we didn't know her well, but have had the privilege to pray for her and her family throughout this battle. she leaves behind a husband of 8 years, a 4 year old daughter, her father, mother and sister, as well as many other friends and family.
as a wife of 6 1/2 years and a mother of two, i can't help but share in the feeling of the deep deep sadness of being separated from a loved one. things have definitely been put into perspective for me. though she is now cancer free and rejoicing with her Savior in heaven i know that she longed for many more days with her loved ones on earth.
this morning i fought hard against the ache in my back while lugging my 2 1/2 year old to the sink for an after breakfast scrub down. i thought about kelsey and how she would have loved to wash her daughter's hands one last time. i really watched as i scrubbed his little fingers together, the water washing away the sticky syrup and pancake crumbs. i didn't mind so much the dirty diapers, the spit up in the carpet, the pajama pants struggle. i thought of kelsey when i washed my hands for the billionth time and felt satisfied in the work i had done. the putting up of the toys (again) as well as the dishes (again). it's all for them. the ones that i love. and today i'm thankful for all of it. the stinky, the crying, the mess, and the clean ups because they are all signs of our life together.
i think back on a wonderful woman who lost her husband this past year and how she compared the separation from him as what God must've felt when He sent His son to earth to die on a cross. oh, what a love He must have for us! to send His only son!
although it is hard for us to fully comprehend everything in our earthly wisdom, kelsey is home, fully healed and complete, celebrating with her Savior, her first love.
please be praying for kelsey's family as they learn to live life without her. please pray that her daughter would be drawn closer to a saving relationship in Christ and that one day they would be united together in heaven! please ask God to give her husband comfort and peace that could only come from Him and wisdom as he leads their family.
i'm still learning to be more present in my life every single day and hope to be better at soaking it all in. chaos and mess included.
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