May 17, 2014

the in-betweens.

sometimes, when i'm least expecting it, i get caught up in the most beautiful moments. there's nothing really special about them. it's just a regular night, you know, the in-betweens. there's no special celebration or birthday or highlight of the day and heck, it was probably most likely a long and rather tedious non-memorable day, but for some reason time just seems to slow down almost like i'm looking in on our life from someone else's perspective, like someone holding a snow globe of my little family looking in on our little home and something becomes special in these tiny fleeting moments as i step away from myself.

just the other night before the kids' bedtime we had a mini pow wow in tenley's bedroom. we went into her tiny dark room and turned on the christmas lights that drape one of the walls and just talked about random things and watched the kids play. we closed out our mini pow wow session as we always do in traditional baker fashion with music and dancing with the babies. nothing seemingly special, oh, but it was!

i really love when these moments happen. when i feel sort of out of my body and i slow down and take it all in. i can really see tenley's fuzzy baby hair and how it's starting to fill in in the back and the way she looks at her brother. i can really hear rylan's voice and feel how tightly he hugs me. and then when i really look at the man in front of me and i'm overwhelmed at how much he loves me and our babies and this life we have made together. these are the moments that i live for. the in-betweens. the regular days. with these regular people. who are far from regular.

May 16, 2014

28 months.

so yeah, lots of things going on with you over the past month or so. still in the process of potty training you (it's going much better these days-cheers!) and you seem to be getting the hang of your big boy bed aka mattress on the floor. we are in the process of finding the perfect new bed :).

you were the ring bearer in your aunt pay-pay's wedding this month and you did a great job! i was so proud! i will never forget watching you walk down the aisle to me and realizing as you got closer that you were "shooting me" with the stick in your hand. seriously. day. made. no, life made.

but really you are the most ornery little boy on the planet. and i can't help but fall for you. guess i'm a bit drawn to the "bad boy" in you ;).

you are so contrary. sometimes to get you to eat something we tell you not to eat it and what do you know-you do! reverse psychology for the win! did you know we are fantastic parents?

oh yeah, and growing up. yeah, i really hate that part. you've been doing a lot of it lately. at the wedding you wanted to dance by yourself, you want to sit on the "big" potty without momma steadying you, trying to feed you something on a spoon is pure torture, and you've been kind of a daddy's boy lately.

i'm trying to accept all of these things because i know it's reality.

sweet little boys grow up,

but you will always be mine,

no matter how big.

love you forever,


p.s. favorite sayings: "hairs lookin' good" and "lookin' good momma". what a charmer you are ;).

May 10, 2014

7 months tenley.

sweet little lady you are on the move! well, it's a bit of a "drag" crawl right now, but it's a crawl none-the-less.

oh and those two tiny teeth. i'm dying over them.

and we may be total failures in the baby food department with you, but i'm pretty sure you don't mind. you'll take some milk to go with a side of milk and a glass of milk to wash it down ;). you know, baby #2 stuff.


oh, ma'am, but you are so much fun lately! i think you might actually be a momma's girl these days! that's a first.

you are so ticklish and when we're putting you to bed at night you're in the best mood of the day. like, seriously, throwing a party.

i can't believe how far we've come with you.

my little girl.

love you forever,


May 9, 2014

on vulnerability and motherhood.

one of the things i've realized over time and especially since i've become a mother is how important it is to be vulnerable with others, just simply having open and honest relationships with people can be mind blowing.

like how much you can learn from one another and how you can encourage each other better and i mean where do you go when you need to rant about another blowout diaper and who do you run to for advice on the never ending potty training and the colic and the specifics of the lanolin cream and the pacifier shapes and the breast pumps and the late night feedings etc...etc...

we weren't meant to do it on our own. we can't do it on our own. these two precious babes of mine are a constant reminder of that for me. i cannot do it on my own. just simply cannot do it. and who wants to anyway right? the lyrics "every hour i need You" have never rung more true and i've been so blessed by all the friendships of the mothers that are doing life right "alongside" me.

these days are long and hard, but so so good. we are tired and exhausted. our energy is spent day in and day out building lives. shaping and molding who these little people will become. tucking in, singing songs, wiping noses, brushing teeth, re-putting on and off socks and shoes, making meals, wiping counters, washing hands, holding and rocking, kissing the boo boos, tickling, time-out-ing, repeating and repeating, oh, and loving! loving so so hard with a love that never quits. a love that endures and seeks patience. a love that longs to be slow to anger and quick to listen. a love that lays down life for life. oh, what a love!

vulnerability and motherhood. it's key, people, key.

**special thank you to all the mothers who have been open and vulnerable with me over the years! you are truly a blessing!

"two are better than one...for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow"

"bear one another's burdens"

"as iron sharpens iron"

"therefore encourage one another and build one another up"

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." -Hebrews 10:24-25

happiest of days to you mothers.

May 5, 2014

i want to type, but my allergies are destroying me...

so photo dump it is!

hope you all are staying allergy free and clear! cheers to spring! right?