Is this a mommy blogger’s worst nightmare (ok, probably not, but I had to start this dramatically)?! Her husband, I mean ‘hubby’, has hijacked her blog and is going to tell the real truth. They (you know, the proverbial ‘they’) say that sometimes the truth HURTS! …but in this case it does not. Today, October 16th, is my wife’s birthday and I want to take a second to remind my wife (and tell whoever happens to eavesdrop) what she means to me.
Warning: Of course, parts will seem a bit corny and perhaps even overdone, but the reality is that it’s the truth and if that’s corny or overdone so be it.
First, I must explain something for the rest to make sense. My wife and I agree on a premise popularized by Gary Thomas’s book, “Sacred Marriage”, which is this idea: “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy”. In fact, we do believe that God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy – this is not to minimize the value of happiness but to maximize the value of holiness. If we agree on this premise – How am I to look at her as a wife? What does the Bible say about a woman who prioritizes holiness in a marriage?
I will use the rest of this post to tell my wife, in light of the well-known portion of Proverbs 31 which describes a godly woman, why I love her:
To My Beautiful Bride,
I married you because you pursue God wholeheartedly, make me a better man, and are easy on the eyes. Below is what I think of you when reading Proverbs 31.
Verse 10: An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
I must simply say, I agree! You are more precious than jewels and I wish every man could find a woman like you. The idea of jewels is also speaking to nobility or virtuosity, and I must say that you are undoubtedly a strong woman with unwavering convictions. And for that, I love you.
Verses 11-12: The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
You are the most trustworthy person I know and as a result I trust you with everything, including the most precious gift we’ve ever been given, our son. I agree with Martin Luther when he said, “The greatest gift of God is a pious amiable spouse, who fears God, loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect confidence". Mrs. Baker, I live in perfect confidence with you. Further, you do good not only when it is easy, but also when it is tough. You have integrity and you live above reproach. And for that, I love you.
Verses 13-19: She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
Clearly a lot is said here about how a godly woman handles herself in regard to caring for the family, serving, working, and being strong. You do all of that and you do it so well. There is no doubt in my mind that your vocation is raising our son and you do that better than I could have ever imagined. You love him, serve him, teach him, provide for him, and tirelessly pursue his understanding of the Lord by being such a godly example. Not only do you do this for him, but you do this for me as well. You do this for me even when I am stubborn, lazy, unkind, selfish, and simply not deserving of such acts. You do all of this as unto the Lord. And for that, I love you.
Verse 20: She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
You complement me so well in this area. You illustrate such mercy and love towards people when I often struggle with hardness. You are attentive to the needs of others, not just in word but in action. You encourage me with your giving heart. And for that, I love you.
Verse 21: She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
Because you do not fear of being unprepared, I do not fear. You think ahead. You plan. You do both of those better than me. I am spontaneous, which at times may seem more fun, but the truth is without you I would be unprepared for so many things. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve forgotten something, but there you are to assure me you have not forgotten and have me covered. And for that, I love you.
Verse 22: She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Really, do I even need to expand on this one?! You are beautiful and your taste is beautiful. And for that, I love you.
Verse 23: Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
This appears to be about me, but it is not. It is because I can trust you and because you serve Rylan and me so well that I can focus on doing my work with excellence. My success is because of your success. And for that, I love you.
Verses 24-27: She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
We all know being a mother is the most challenging vocation in the world and some might say that being my wife is the second most challenging :)… Nonetheless, you do both well. You work so hard and are the antithesis of laziness. You are kind, wise, and help me hear the Holy Spirit when sometimes I am not listening so well. And for that, I love you.
Verses 28-29: Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
Right now, maybe all Rylan can say is, “mama” and sometimes the occasional “daaaadaaaa” (well that’s what I hear), but I can say, ‘You do surpass them all.’ I know you don’t invest/love/care for Rylan and me because of the ‘rewards’ or ‘payback’, but I know there will be eternal rewards awaiting you for your good service – and earthly ones await too (a good sloppy kiss coming soon). And for that, I love you. If Rylan could form entire sentences, I know he’d say… And for that, I love you.
Verse 30: Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
First, I will say that you are SMOKIN! You are incredibly beautiful, but what I am most thankful for is that your physical beauty is not the extent of your beauty. You fear the Lord and your life so clearly proves it. And for that, I love you.
Verse 31: Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
As I said above, I am confident you will be rewarded. You are godly and virtuous. Because Proverbs 31 so perfectly describes you I know you will be rewarded. Because the fruit of your life is so obvious, I know you will be rewarded. I know you would say you have room to grow closer to the Lord, but I want you to know that you meet His measures well. And for that, I love you!
I hope you have an amazing birthday because your birth has made so many of my days amazing.
I. Love. You.
Ooops, I mean…
We. Love. You.