when i found out i was having a baby boy in 2011 i was in a bit of a state of shock and disbelief tinged with a hint (or perhaps a lot of hints) of uncertainty. i grew up with only one sister and although i spent the majority of my childhood as a "tomboy" i was scared.
the life and ways of "boy" were uncharted territories for me...
fast forward a couple of years and i cannot imagine my life without him. there's just something about us that's unlike any other thing.
i love all of the things that make him, him, and all of the things that make him, boy. i'm fascinated by him and the way he can transform almost anything into a play gun...straws, rulers, boxes of raisins. the way he prefers to knock things over instead of building things up. how he throws everything and wants to always be outside. his energy. how he has already perfected the sound of shooting or something exploding (i always wondered how they do it, i guess they are just born with it...). his innate sense to fight or protect. how he pretends to be brave when chasing down the "bad guys".
sometimes i can almost feel his need to escape, for adventure, to be free, beating beneath his chest. like an untamed horse, this boy is so perfectly wild and wonderful.
i may not ever fully understand the life and ways of "boy", but it is something i get to marvel at now daily.
what a privilege to be his momma.
i long for Christ to make me as bold and as wild and as free as he is.
he is a beautiful soul.