January 30, 2013

one last time.

this past saturday i nursed rylan for the last time.

it was probably one the most difficult things i've had to do as a mother.

i sobbed as i laid there in bed nursing him, stroking his hair, kissing his head and taking in the moment. our last time to ever be that close.

it hurts, but i feel peace. i thanked God over and over again that i was able to nurse him that long and for all the moments of closeness we shared. for the bond that was made every day over the past 13 months, i am grateful.

for the first time i held you on my chest.
for all the times i nursed you to sleep,
and for all the times i held you in my arms, as close as we could get.
for all the times i touched your hair,
and for all the times you laid by my side.
all the times you needed me,
and all the times you wanted me.
all the times spent loving you, as a mother does a child.
i am grateful.


  1. This is beautiful! I'm excited to read about the next chapter in both your lives!


  2. Such precious pictures! It is one of the sweetest things. We are about at the place of deciding to stop also. I feel sad about it but also feel at peace about it, I go back and forth.

  3. This is so beautiful. I could barely read it as I knew it would make me cry. Actually nursing Alidia as I read it and I know our time too is coming near. I don't know how I'll do it. You should be so proud of your 13 months and look forward to other ways of amazing bonding ahead. Hugs.

  4. Such a beautiful post! When I started breast feeding Trey I wasn't sure how long I would do it for but 2 months in, I'm thinking I may stick it out for a year. It is such a sweet special thing and I am so grateful to God that it has been so easy for us!

  5. This is so sweet! Weaning is tough. I'm gonna bawl whenever I do!!!! Mainly because I know it will be for the last time.

  6. So sweet. This is making me miss nursing. I was doing fine until I read this. ;) We have some special boys, ya know!

  7. I sometimes get choked up remembering my last time nursing! It will get easier and once your boobs stop hurting its exciting to have your body back!!

  8. This is such a great post! These pictures are really cute.


  9. Beautiful! Hang in there momma, Rylan will always want his mommy. :)

  10. Thinking of you sweet mama. Well done on doing the very best for your precious man. You are a super mama x

  11. waaahhhh! weeped like a baby! love this :)

  12. ahh what a sweet little man. i have heard how nursing is such a bonding experience and how special you were able to nurse him for that many months

  13. awww mommy moments.i can't wait to have those :)

    The DayLee Journal

  14. Great post. You are so lucky you were able to nurse for so long, I tried so hard

  15. This is such a beautiful post, and I may have teared up a bit. My little girl is 9 months and I plan to wean her around a year as well, I'm a mess just thinking about it! I'm glad you were able to nurse your adorable little son for so long. It's such a special bond.

  16. what a blessing you got to nurse! I tried and failed with all 3 babies. I never knew how bittersweet or hard it would be for a mama to stop nursing? growing up is so bittersweet! but i promise the fun stage is right around the corner. thanks for sharing your heart!

  17. So cute with all the cuddles!!